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  • Writer's pictureLauren


Updated: Apr 30, 2021

It’s eight fifteen and you’re with breakfast radio, serving up the top singles with your smashed avo this morning…

If I were a real mother, I would have spent my weekend baking those wholesome Donna Hay muesli bars instead of sending Oliver and Emily to school with sugar coated trash in their lunch boxes, wouldn’t I?

I can’t forget to pick up Oliver from again karate this afternoon, is he always the last kid waiting for their incompetent parent to collect them, contorted around the railing at the bus stop out the front and rolling his eyes?


Did I remind Emily when she got out of the car about the athletics day note that absolutely must be handed in today because it was absolutely not handed in last week?

Will Oliver tell Charlie that we weren’t really at his grandparents in Orange over the weekend like I told Alison on the phone, I just couldn’t be bothered cleaning the house to an appropriate standard for visitors?

We’re playing some classics this morning, Marty…

Will my staff notice that I’ve worn the same skirt four days in a row and know I’m barely holding my life together?

Does Jessica really think she can talk to me in such a condescending tone in front of junior customer service staff and not face any consequences, or is this a test of my authority somehow?

How many days can I allow Adrian to turn up stinking like stale beer without sending him home and making an enemy of him when he makes a scene?

Should I already know how to dismiss someone?

What if I wasn’t clear enough in last week’s meeting about follow up procedures with lending clients and the data for repayments this week hasn’t improved?

How many times can I postpone that meeting with corporate without looking incompetent and risking a bad performance review?

You’re on drive time radio, cruising home to the hottest hits…

Can we have dinner with only one type of vegetable in it without my kids getting rickets?

Why are all the other parents already waiting for their kids when I arrive at netball training, do they just stay for the entire session and peer supportively through the chain link fence?

Did Mo have meetings this afternoon, did he tell me and I didn’t listen, or have I forgotten to ask? If I call again, will that be the tipping point of me ‘checking in’ to me ‘interrupting’ him at work?

And now, we’re taking listeners’ requests to wind down the day…

How much longer can I pretend to manage a staff of 40 when I can’t even keep straight the schedule for four people?

Do I care enough about my family if I don’t know where they are and where they’re meant to be at all times?

Why was Emily so quiet in the back seat this afternoon, has something happened that she won’t tell me about because I’m judgemental or unsupportive?

Should I need to think this much about it all? Should it be this hard?

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